Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
