New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Randomize
