dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
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