Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
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