I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
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