not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
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