How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Randomize