butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
