Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
I take back everything I said about communal showers
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Randomize
