I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Randomize
