Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Randomize
