We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
No stitches, just platelets and will power
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
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