I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
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