You work out of a Hotel?
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
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