I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Randomize
