listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Randomize
