Ambien. No doubt about it.
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Randomize
