Whoa Z and x make the same sound
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
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