i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
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