New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
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