you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
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