fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Randomize
