I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
