you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
