Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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