I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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