I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
someone get that fucking seahorse.
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
