so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
