Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
Be still, my beating vagina.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
Randomize
