I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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