he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize
