I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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