If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
