I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Randomize
