Pappa wants mamma naked
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
That accounts for only three of the penises
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
Randomize
