There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
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