Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Randomize
