no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
My cat gives me a boner
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Randomize
