We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
