She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Randomize
