I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
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