scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
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