i think i have two assholes
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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