Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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