At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Randomize
