Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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