Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
even my farts smell like vagina
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
