marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
Randomize
