She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize