so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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