The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
