If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
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