doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
