grandma shit on top of the toilet
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
it was like his penis was on wheels.
Quick, to the slutcave!
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
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