So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
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