I bet he comes in French.
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
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