Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
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