Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
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