I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
